my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm too high and old for this...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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