I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
