i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
