My balls are so social today.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
