you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
