have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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