i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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