Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
