I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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