Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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