4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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