Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
