K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo