Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Non-Jews are for practice
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.