That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
