Christians are straight up FREAKS
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
