Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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