I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
