you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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