I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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