Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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