Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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