If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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