I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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