Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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