is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
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Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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