He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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