is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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