My friends, they love my intelligence
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Never underestimate the power of titties
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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