She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
