do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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