xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't deserve a penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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