So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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