In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
