Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
