We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize