no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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