who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
where are my eyebrows?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
