i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
