sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize