You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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