ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
where am i from again
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
