OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
