wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
