um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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