So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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