dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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