If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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