I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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