Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
