just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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