I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
