Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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