PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize