So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
