Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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