HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
