i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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