sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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