Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
