we have officially lost it.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
