So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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